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Pairadocs

Pairadocs is a unique marriage and parenting podcast that women will love and guys won't want to turn off.
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Now displaying: 2020

Pairadocs is a podcast with a Christian take on life, family, and culture. Jimmy and Josh will provide marriage and parenting insight, to be sure.  However, don't be suprised if other topics emerge,  such as sports, entertainment, politics, or the latest episode of Pioneer Woman - we have way too many women in our lives!

Dec 28, 2020

Well, this week the guys wrap up their discussion of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse with the dreaded In Laws!  How should couples manage this minefield of family tension?  And not only are the guys ending this series this week, sadly, Josh and Jimmy are ending their run as the Pairadocs.  This will be the boys last show.  Sad, but exciting.  Listen in and find out why.  BTW, all of you guys are the best!  We love you.




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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

  

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

  

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Dec 21, 2020

So, are you ready to meet the 3rd Horseman of the Marriage Apocalypse?  Couple's fight about this one all the time!  This topic reeks of power and security, therefore, it's a source for, all but constant, conflict.  The topic?  MONEY!  "Sooooo, let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers  

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Dec 14, 2020

Last week, the guys kicked off a discussion of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse.  The first was sex, and this week they will examine the all too hot topic of THE KIDS.  Most couples tend not to be on the exact same page when it comes to discipline, expectations, and priorities when it comes to their kids, so...arguments tend to ensue.  If this sounds like you, don't miss this week's episode!  

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Dec 7, 2020

You know it coming and you dread it like the plague, but at some point, in every family there comes the need to have “The Sex Talk.”  In this case, however, we’re not talking about the sex discussion with you kids.  This week, the guys delve into the sex talk that every couple needs to have and keep having to address one of the Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse.   

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PROBLEM:

  1. Carries more baggage than a 747.  Mention any possible negative and it can be interpreted as a very intimate, personal criticism
  2. We don’t talk about our sexual relationship.  Only might be mentioned when something is wrong.  
  3. As a rule, sex is the “unmentionable” in 99% of Christian homes
  4. Take any other “mutual” activity that a couple engages in, there is discussion about it.  Cooking, exercise, entertainment…  The assumption is that if we’re married, we should simply know what to do and how to do it.  And if things aren’t great, then we suffer in silence, because, “We shouldn’t have to say anything.”

SOLUTION:

  1. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Cor. 7:3–5)

Each spouse’s body belongs to the other, and a primary function of sex is to serve and bless each other. The ethic that runs throughout the New Testament applies to sex in marriage: we are to selflessly serve, thinking of the other first.

  1. Love is putting someone else’s needs above your own.  Sex is a physical manifestation of spiritual and emotional love between a husband and wife.
  2. TALK: If we don’t tell our spouse, they won’t know.  Any time we don’t talk it is out of fear or frustration.  Spouse’s shouldn’t fear their partner’s response.
  3. Past sexual history and sin, needs to be discussed, learned from, and not avoided
  4. Frequency, duration, & arousal all are impacted as you pass through life stages.
  5. Talk about having the talk.  Don’t surprise them with it.
  6. Make suggestions; not complaints 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Nov 30, 2020

Have you or your spouse ever said something along the lines of, “We argue over little things.”, or “None of our arguments ever get resolved.”  If you have, then you have fallen headfirst into the Argument Black Hole.  Join them this week, as the guys talk about the biggest mistake couples make when they have a disagreement.

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PROBLEM:

  1. Arguing over facts
  2. Arguing over who’s reality is correct
  3. Winning is more important than solving the problem
  4. My Side Bias skews facts
  5. Memories are NOT accurate recordings of events.  Research suggests that that we remember what we WANT to believe happened

SOLUTION:

  1. Realize that the argument is not about the facts
  2. The event is the surface problem to a root cause
  3. Chose the hill you will die on
  4. Must be able to agree to disagree

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Nov 23, 2020

Perfectionism.  Most would agree that this personality trait is not great.  BUT, if you are a perfectionist, you secretly, sort of, like being this way.  It’s kind of like being a “workaholic.”  We say we don’t like that aspect of our lives yet are inwardly proud of how much we can accomplish.  Perfectionism is, not only, bad for us as an individual, but can be devastating in our home.  

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PROBLEM:

  1. See it in:
    1. Kids- upset if not perfect, performance anxiety
    2. Mom/Wives- Clean house, fixation on kid’s performance, behavior, and dress, can’t leave work at work
    3. Dad/Husbands- How things look, Sports, irritation as substandard behavior/dress…
  2. Hold double standard
  3. You're constantly evaluating yourself, and not living up to who you believe you could be. This induces shame. 
  4. Procrastination can simply be thought of as insecure perfectionism on steroids. 

SOLUTION:

  1. To want something is good.  To NEED it is not good.
  2. Embrace and sit in uncomfortable, unpleasant emotions
  3. By grace saved, not of good works
  4. Acknowledge it.
  5. What is driving this?  What core belief?
  6. Anti-anxiety tool is “Worst case” scenario 
  7. Adjust your standards to just be “good enough.”

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Nov 16, 2020

We’ve all seen them, haven’t we?  Those parents who care WAY too much about how their child is doing in sports.  They take out a second mortgage and blow through their family’s savings just to keep their kid on select/travel teams.  They yell at the refs, the coach, and their kid.  You would think their entire self-worth hinged on whether their child plays well and wins the game…hmmm.  I wonder… Listen in this week as Josh and Jimmy get the signal, step up to the plate, and discuss The Push.  Parents and sports.  Play ball!!

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Warning Signs of The Push

  1. Parent getting their own need for self-worth through their child’s sport performance.  
  2. Year-round, non-stop sports.  One long, never ending season
  3. Year-round specialization.  Tommy John surgery for high schoolers. 
  4. All other aspect of family life takes a back seat 
  5. Do you care more than your child who is actually playing the sport?
  6. ****Anger at child’s performance****

Solution for the Push:

  1. Define Success
  2. Let the child lead. Brad McCoy
  3. Teach your child to try hard, work hard, practice hard, and play hard.  Col. 3:23, “All like doing it for Christ.”

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Nov 9, 2020

We hear a lot of talk about dysfunctional families these days.  Apparently, they are bad, and can cause some real damage to those who find themselves in one.  But is my family dysfunctional? Did I come from one?  How do I make sure my family doesn’t become one?  I’m glad you asked!!  Join the fellas this week and they discussion what dysfunctional families are, how to prevent them, and what to do if you fear you’re in one.

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 Problem with dysfunction:

  1. Long lasting impact.  Consistent, Frequent, Duration, changes the brain
  2. Dysfunctional families rack up tons of little “t” traumas.
  3. We tend to absorb both healthy and unhealthy behavioral/relationship patterns from our FOO

Solution: (Psychology Today; Julie Hall)

Here’s several “Signs” of dysfunction…make sure you do the opposite!

  1. Acceptance/Love is conditional
  2. Someone must always be blamed/scapegoat
  3. Vulnerability is dangerous, therefore, no intimacy
  4. The family has “Teams”
  5. Appearance not authenticity is ALL IMPORTANT
  6. Rage is normalized
  7. Denial & Defensiveness are the norm

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Nov 2, 2020

Ever feel like a spiritual taxi driver? Is your goal as a parent to make sure your child is at every church event? Do you get nervous when asked to spiritual lead / guide your child? When your child has a spiritual question, is this intimidating? This week Jimmy and Josh discuss your one job as a parent, spiritually leading your child.




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Harelips the Governor

 

 Pagan Christianity by Barna

 

Other than praying over dinner or before bed, is God present in your life / your family’s life? 

 

Biggest takeaway, you need to be more spiritually connected in your own life, to be able to guide your own child. 

 

God doesn’t call you to raise faithful kids, he’s calling you to be faithful.

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

  

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

  

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

 

Oct 26, 2020

As the late great country music artist, Mac Davis, once sang, “Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble!”  And in our current culture and the competitive, “me-obsessed” environment that our kids are growing up in, these words have never been more spot on.  Join the fellas this week, as they kick around the topic of raising humble kids.

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 We live in a culture that is for the glorification of self. Our culture and a lot of our homes struggle to produce humble kids.

“If you have to toot your own horn, your horn ain’t worth tootin’” – Bill Myers Sr

We need to teach them how to express their views modestly. How to share praise and blame. 

Learning to accept failure is key.

It’s important to model a lack of defensiveness.

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Oct 19, 2020

Many of you have read her books to your kids and found them to be an invaluable resource during this unprecedented electronically connected time. And if you haven’t read these books to your kids, after listening to this show, you definitely will. This week Jimmy and Josh sit down with Kristen Jenson, from Protect Young Minds, about her best-selling books, Good Pictures Bad Pictures and her newest, Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.When should we talk to our children about pornography? To quote Kristen, “As soon as they have internet access.” Think about that...

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https://www.protectyoungminds.org/

https://www.protectyoungminds.org/about/

https://braindefense.protectyoungminds.org/

https://www.protectyoungminds.org/books/

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com 

Instagram: @protectyoungminds
Twitter: @protectYM

 

Oct 12, 2020

You know ‘em! You love ‘em! And you can’t live without ‘em! I don’t know the numbers on their jerseys, but I do know they’re number 1 in your heart...drum roll, please...This week, the boys sit down with Melanie Shankle and Sophie Hudson, the co-hosts of the Big Boo Cast! They talk about the ladies’ new books, life, love, and not to give too much away...pheasant hunting fashion tips.

The Big Boo Cast

Melanie Shankle

Sophie Hudson

Opal Nugget Ice Maker

Stand All the Way Up by Sophie Hudson

On the Bright Side by Melanie Shankle

Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com 

Oct 5, 2020

I know you’ve never said this before, but I’m sure you’ve known someone who has exclaimed, “That kid makes me so mad!!”  Anger is an emotion that all parents have experienced, yet parental anger that is expressed in the wrong way can be the most destructive emotional element in any home.  Ouch.  This week, the guys chat about putting a lid on parental anger.  

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Series 33 – Lifeway

Problem with parental anger:

  1. Things that we say and do that we regret are mostly done in anger
  2. Parental anger is the most destructive emotional element in the home
  3. Most anger is brought about by faulty thinking that is adrenaline induced.
    1. Albert Ellis ABC Model
    2. This is now we KNOW that nothing MAKES you mad.
  4. 90% of parental anger is sin. We sin, but don’t see God’s wrath
  5. We believe it’s justified. But it is never justified.

Solution to parental anger:

  1. Realize first response is your worst response
  2. STOP
    1. Stop and separate
    2. Tone down tension
    3. Open YOUR heart to God
    4. Present Christ to your child

Excerpt from Toe to Toe with Your Teen (2nd Edition)

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Sep 28, 2020

 

Sep 21, 2020
Sep 14, 2020

 

Sep 7, 2020

Is unconditionally loving your child and unconditionally praising your child the same thing?  Maybe not.  In fact, numerous studies indicate that lavishing praise on a child with little or no merit, actually can have a negative impact on the child’s emotional development.  But then again, no praise could indicate emotion emotional neglect.  What’s a parent to do?!  It’s like we’re danged if we do, or danged if we don’t.

Listen in this week as Josh and Jimmy delve into the sticky, and somewhat controversial, topic of undeserved praise. 

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If this is your first episode, here are a few episodes to get you started:

Aug 31, 2020

Pairadocs podcast has joined the Christian Parenting Podcast Network!

If this is your first episode, here are a few episodes to get you started:

Follow Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Follow Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Follow Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Jul 29, 2020

Since we’re all doing school from home now, please answer the following questions:

 

  1. Honey, do these new pants make my butt look big?

  2. No, I left your gift at the office.  Do you really think I’d forget our anniversary?

  3. Mommy, are some of the kids on my team better than me?

  4. Daddy, I’m so sad that Fluffy died.  Is he in heaven with Jesus?

  5. Hey, Babe, I can’t see the back of my head.  Am I balding at all?

 

So how did you do?  Answer honestly.  This week, the guys kick around the topic of how honest is too honest in the family. 

 

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We can justify lying by trying to "not hurt our spouse". It's choosing the path of least resistance. "Why would I purposefully hurt my wife" is the thought.

 

However, lying can be a behavior that can form a habit - quickly.

 

If you can't tell your spouse the truth out of fear of their response, you're in trouble. Without truth there is no trust, without trust there is no love.

 

You earn the right to speak truth / be honest. Love people first, then provide your truth.

 

Our goal in word and deed is congruency. Be the same in front of your wife as you are away from her.

 

We struggle to be honest with others because we are not honest with ourselves.

 

Be sure that you yourself are cultivating a relationship where people can be honest with you.

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Jul 20, 2020

We’ve all done it.  Looked at how our spouse is behaving and wondered, “Wow, if he really loved me, he wouldn’t be doing that.”  Some of us have felt that so strongly that we actually say those word to our spouse.  Making their momentary behavior a referendum on “if” they love us or not.  Full disclosure, I have done this myself.  Just the other night I told my wife, Beth, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t make me watch the Downtown Abby movie a second time.”  Wow, that felt good.  Freedom comes through honesty and confession.  Listen in this week as the guys expose this relationally destructive, yet common conflict mistake. 

 

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Even if we don't say these exact words, it is common for us to think/feel that "If our spouse loved me, he/she would -- blank --". 

 

Men ask the same question, "If you respected me, you would".

 

Don't assume your spouse doesn't love you. Unless your spouse has said "I don't love you" - assume he/she does. 

 

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Jul 6, 2020

I’m so sorry its taken so long to get this episode out, BUT there were many reasons why it couldn’t get done sooner…Listen, I said I was sorry.  What do you want from me?  You feel hurt that we have kept this life-changing podcast from you for this long?  Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.  To hurt you was not our intent, so really, you have to own your own feelings.  Am I right?  Ok, fine, drop it.  This week the boys discuss how to make a real apology. 

 

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Apologies are normal. If no one is apologizing, then there is a problem. Apologies are essential because sin exists.

 

 

Top 6 Dynamics of a True Apology

 

1. A true apology never says a "but"

2. A true apology keeps the focus on what you personally did wrong

3. A true apology doesn't try to find who started it

4. A true apology never apologizes to "shut up" the other person

5. A true apology makes apologizing "not enough" and makes an attempt to do more

 

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

May 20, 2020

Here’s a parent’s worst nightmare.  You look upstairs one day and your 27 year old son is still living in the same bedroom in your house that he occupied since the 8th grade!  Somewhere along the line, this young man…failed to launch.  Listen in this week as the guys discuss this growing phenomenon. 

 

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Helicopter parenting - hovering over your child to rescue whenever bad happens

Lawnmower parenting - clearing the path for your child so that nothing bad happens to them

 

Helicopter and lawnmower parenting cripples our children

 

Our kids an just "roll over" due to pressure/anxiety. Pressure from parents, school, friends, self, culture - can lead to kids that are anxious about adulthood and therefore just decide to give up. 

 

Parenting is an 18 year process of deparenting.

 

When they are young we as parents are supervisors, when they're teenagers we are managers, and when they are adults we become consultants.

 

Grace ceases to be grace if it occurs too often, it then becomes an expectation

 

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If you have an adult child still in your home that is failing to launch:

 

1. Begin mourning the loss of your child and accept them as adults

 

2. Have a clear written agreement on A) responsibilities they have with them still being in your home, B) a defined date when they must leave, C) creating a list of skills they need prior to leaving and D) a list of ways you might assist them financially even after they are gone. NOTE: Any assistance once they're gone needs to have an end date as well.

 

3. Risk them failing once gone - failure is one of life's great teachers

 

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

May 15, 2020

The boys follow up with their co dependency talk from last week by discussing boundaries today. What are boundaries? How do you institute them? Won't that make matters worse? Listen in.

 

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Boundariless families are dysfunctional. These families are tired. 

Lack of boundaries finds its way into most, if not all, relational problems we have.

 

We mistakenly believe that if we set a boundary, it is unloving.

 

10 Laws of Boundaries

 

1. Law of sowing and reaping - needs to be consequences to behavior

2. Law of responsibility - be responsible for self

3. Law of power - make a choice and enact power within relationship

4. Law if respect - respect other people's boundaries

5. Law of motivation - risk disappointing people

6. Law of evaluation - hurt feelings aren't harmful

7. Law of proactivity - setting boundaries early

8. Law of envy - learn to be satisfied with your life

9. Law of activity - can't be passive and have boundaries

10. Law of exposure - choose to matter and exist in relationship

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

May 4, 2020

What is co-dependency?  We’ve all heard about, accused others of being it, but what exactly is it?  I mean, we should depend on each other…right?  “Lean on me, when you’re not strong…”  Hello?!  But what is it, really?  Listen in this week as the guys unpack the sometimes misunderstood topic of co-dependency, and see if you can recognize your relationship…uh, I mean recognized a “friend’s” relationship. 

 

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Enchiladas Y Mas Closed

 

Co dependency = when one person needs another person, and the other person needs to be needed.

 

It's a relationship addiction. A toxic dance.

 

Submissive co dependents - desperately desire loves from dominant dependents

Dominant co dependents - don't give love the other desires

 

We pass on co dependency to our children

 

Recognizing who you are in your marriage:

 

Submissives

1. Does your self worth hang on your partners approval?

2. Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes a demand?

3. Do you walk on egg shells around your partner? 

4. Do you consistently worry about other's opinions of you?

5. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

 

Dominants

1. Are you in a constant state of frustration with your partner?

2. Can you not let go of correcting your partner?

3. It is difficult for you to agree to disagree?

4. Do you have a strong need to be right?

5. When push comes to shove, you get your way.

 

SOLUTION

 

1. Boundaries (next week)

2. Don't avoid conflict; be a buffalo

3. Figure out wants vs needs. You want your spouse, you don't need him/her

4. It is not your place to correct your spouse

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Apr 13, 2020

In our society today, we love us some tolerance! Vive la Difference! I always like to say, except when those differences we’re “Viveing” are behaviors in our spouse that are driving us up the wall during this sheltering in place experience.  How can we “let go and let God” sooth our relational differences while we’re all boarded up inside our houses 24/7?  Listen in this week as the guys discuss how to accept our spouse’s faults…That’s right.  I said it, FAULTS! They’re not differences, they are flaws in their character that if they loved me, they would change!! Or would they?

 

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Martial Wounds

1. Spouse Preferences - things that minimally impact your life

2. Infractions - things that moderately (and sometimes majorly) impact your life

3. Major Infractions - abuse, infidelity, etc

 

Scripturally, you only have justification for ending your marriage (or hardening your heart toward you spouse) for the MAJOR INFRACTIONS. 

 

Marriage is about learning to get over things.

 

70% of all marital arguments are irreconcilable. 

 

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So how do we learn to get over things?

Decide that it is not your job to change your spouse! There is a Holy Spirit and it is not me.

Get the log out of our own eye.

Conflict is never about the content, the conflict touches a "raw spot" / insecurity - so your reaction has more to do with you.

 

Can you agree to disagree? 

 

Be more grateful for your spouse's good, more than you're mad at the bad.

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

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