Since we’re all doing school from home now, please answer the following questions:
Honey, do these new pants make my butt look big?
No, I left your gift at the office. Do you really think I’d forget our anniversary?
Mommy, are some of the kids on my team better than me?
Daddy, I’m so sad that Fluffy died. Is he in heaven with Jesus?
Hey, Babe, I can’t see the back of my head. Am I balding at all?
So how did you do? Answer honestly. This week, the guys kick around the topic of how honest is too honest in the family.
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We can justify lying by trying to "not hurt our spouse". It's choosing the path of least resistance. "Why would I purposefully hurt my wife" is the thought.
However, lying can be a behavior that can form a habit - quickly.
If you can't tell your spouse the truth out of fear of their response, you're in trouble. Without truth there is no trust, without trust there is no love.
You earn the right to speak truth / be honest. Love people first, then provide your truth.
Our goal in word and deed is congruency. Be the same in front of your wife as you are away from her.
We struggle to be honest with others because we are not honest with ourselves.
Be sure that you yourself are cultivating a relationship where people can be honest with you.
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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com
We’ve all done it. Looked at how our spouse is behaving and wondered, “Wow, if he really loved me, he wouldn’t be doing that.” Some of us have felt that so strongly that we actually say those word to our spouse. Making their momentary behavior a referendum on “if” they love us or not. Full disclosure, I have done this myself. Just the other night I told my wife, Beth, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t make me watch the Downtown Abby movie a second time.” Wow, that felt good. Freedom comes through honesty and confession. Listen in this week as the guys expose this relationally destructive, yet common conflict mistake.
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Even if we don't say these exact words, it is common for us to think/feel that "If our spouse loved me, he/she would -- blank --".
Men ask the same question, "If you respected me, you would".
Don't assume your spouse doesn't love you. Unless your spouse has said "I don't love you" - assume he/she does.
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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com
I’m so sorry its taken so long to get this episode out, BUT there were many reasons why it couldn’t get done sooner…Listen, I said I was sorry. What do you want from me? You feel hurt that we have kept this life-changing podcast from you for this long? Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. To hurt you was not our intent, so really, you have to own your own feelings. Am I right? Ok, fine, drop it. This week the boys discuss how to make a real apology.
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Apologies are normal. If no one is apologizing, then there is a problem. Apologies are essential because sin exists.
Top 6 Dynamics of a True Apology
1. A true apology never says a "but"
2. A true apology keeps the focus on what you personally did wrong
3. A true apology doesn't try to find who started it
4. A true apology never apologizes to "shut up" the other person
5. A true apology makes apologizing "not enough" and makes an attempt to do more
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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers
Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers
Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast
How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast
Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com