I remember once watching John Wayne in an old movie (As every red-blooded American male should do, at least once a month) as he was waiting on top of the wall at the cavalry outpost for an attack from the marauding Indians. He said to a much less experienced soldier, “It’s quiet…too quiet.” In other words, when it gets too quiet, it’s all about the hit the proverbial fan! Freeze and Flee, the last of Sue Johnson’s Demon Dialogues, has to do when couples reach the point of giving up. When it gets quiet…too quiet. If you find yourself or someone you love in this desperate state, listen in as the guys help you not get scalped. Or, or you know what I mean.
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
Part 1 and 2 in this series:
Plank and Spec Episode
If you are stuck in the 'freeze and flee' dialogue:
- Share with your spouse a cue that begins the distancing process
- Recognize what you are telling yourself that keeps you separated
Problem solve, discuss with spouse:
When you do _____ I don't feel safely connected to you. Then I tend to _______. I do it in the hopes that ________. And as this pattern keeps going, I feel _________. The more I __________, the more you _______. Maybe we can warn each other when this starts.
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Realize you are the problem in your marriage (humility and repentance)
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