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Pairadocs

Pairadocs is a unique marriage and parenting podcast that women will love and guys won't want to turn off.
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Now displaying: May, 2020

Pairadocs is a podcast with a Christian take on life, family, and culture. Jimmy and Josh will provide marriage and parenting insight, to be sure.  However, don't be suprised if other topics emerge,  such as sports, entertainment, politics, or the latest episode of Pioneer Woman - we have way too many women in our lives!

May 20, 2020

Here’s a parent’s worst nightmare.  You look upstairs one day and your 27 year old son is still living in the same bedroom in your house that he occupied since the 8th grade!  Somewhere along the line, this young man…failed to launch.  Listen in this week as the guys discuss this growing phenomenon. 

 

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Helicopter parenting - hovering over your child to rescue whenever bad happens

Lawnmower parenting - clearing the path for your child so that nothing bad happens to them

 

Helicopter and lawnmower parenting cripples our children

 

Our kids an just "roll over" due to pressure/anxiety. Pressure from parents, school, friends, self, culture - can lead to kids that are anxious about adulthood and therefore just decide to give up. 

 

Parenting is an 18 year process of deparenting.

 

When they are young we as parents are supervisors, when they're teenagers we are managers, and when they are adults we become consultants.

 

Grace ceases to be grace if it occurs too often, it then becomes an expectation

 

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If you have an adult child still in your home that is failing to launch:

 

1. Begin mourning the loss of your child and accept them as adults

 

2. Have a clear written agreement on A) responsibilities they have with them still being in your home, B) a defined date when they must leave, C) creating a list of skills they need prior to leaving and D) a list of ways you might assist them financially even after they are gone. NOTE: Any assistance once they're gone needs to have an end date as well.

 

3. Risk them failing once gone - failure is one of life's great teachers

 

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

May 15, 2020

The boys follow up with their co dependency talk from last week by discussing boundaries today. What are boundaries? How do you institute them? Won't that make matters worse? Listen in.

 

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Boundariless families are dysfunctional. These families are tired. 

Lack of boundaries finds its way into most, if not all, relational problems we have.

 

We mistakenly believe that if we set a boundary, it is unloving.

 

10 Laws of Boundaries

 

1. Law of sowing and reaping - needs to be consequences to behavior

2. Law of responsibility - be responsible for self

3. Law of power - make a choice and enact power within relationship

4. Law if respect - respect other people's boundaries

5. Law of motivation - risk disappointing people

6. Law of evaluation - hurt feelings aren't harmful

7. Law of proactivity - setting boundaries early

8. Law of envy - learn to be satisfied with your life

9. Law of activity - can't be passive and have boundaries

10. Law of exposure - choose to matter and exist in relationship

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

May 4, 2020

What is co-dependency?  We’ve all heard about, accused others of being it, but what exactly is it?  I mean, we should depend on each other…right?  “Lean on me, when you’re not strong…”  Hello?!  But what is it, really?  Listen in this week as the guys unpack the sometimes misunderstood topic of co-dependency, and see if you can recognize your relationship…uh, I mean recognized a “friend’s” relationship. 

 

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Enchiladas Y Mas Closed

 

Co dependency = when one person needs another person, and the other person needs to be needed.

 

It's a relationship addiction. A toxic dance.

 

Submissive co dependents - desperately desire loves from dominant dependents

Dominant co dependents - don't give love the other desires

 

We pass on co dependency to our children

 

Recognizing who you are in your marriage:

 

Submissives

1. Does your self worth hang on your partners approval?

2. Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes a demand?

3. Do you walk on egg shells around your partner? 

4. Do you consistently worry about other's opinions of you?

5. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

 

Dominants

1. Are you in a constant state of frustration with your partner?

2. Can you not let go of correcting your partner?

3. It is difficult for you to agree to disagree?

4. Do you have a strong need to be right?

5. When push comes to shove, you get your way.

 

SOLUTION

 

1. Boundaries (next week)

2. Don't avoid conflict; be a buffalo

3. Figure out wants vs needs. You want your spouse, you don't need him/her

4. It is not your place to correct your spouse

 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

 

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

 

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

 

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

 

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

 

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

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